i suppose i would

I don't have much to say. I keep catching myself frowning without meaning to. I can't seem to focus. People say things to me and I hear, I listen, but I forget to respond. I just tried to spell seem, "ssem." I thought three of my fingers were broken earlier this week, but they aren't. The middle finger on my left hand has a deep laceration, but is otherwise fine. The doors at work are heavy. The wind blows through my apartment's exposed brick wall - I can feel it just now.

I'm reading Mountains Beyond Mountains, by Tracy Kidder, about Paul Farmer and Haiti. It makes me wish I were going into healthcare. Makes me desire even more strongly to do things...

Ah, but isn't that the problem God has just been teaching me about?

It's not wrong to want to do things, to do good things for Him, I suppose - but to base all my good feeling, my worth, in that and not in the simple, unfailing goodness of His love called grace; that would be wrong.

It's mastering the balance between complacency and legalism, joy and obligation. It's worship but I'm still learning how.

There is no such thing as non-participation.

I'm overcome by how much we could do if we were truly ruled by the Holy Spirit, if we just gave ourselves over to being lived in and through.

And the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"