About running: As soon as you're finished, within 5-10 minutes, you want to do it again. No matter how much it already hurt, no matter how sweaty you are, no matter how much homework is waiting inside for you. The pain dissipates, the sweat is running down your back anyway, and the homework doesn't matter as much as the burning in your lungs, the trembling in your legs that tells you there's untapped power just longing to carry you down an endless stretch of sidewalk or track or grass.
About my major: I don't know if I'll be a good teacher. I don't know if I'll like it. I don't know if I'll be satisfied or whole, and I don't know if it'll end up shaping my life, and whether that shaping would be good or bad. I like sociology. I like farming. I love track. I may or may not want a family. I may or may not want a husband. I might get 5 years down the road and realize I can't live without a farm. I don't know which of my desires are from God. At this point I feel like teaching is most conducive to providing future opportunities to return to school, should I feel the need. But man, I hate having to choose my life's path at this point... actually, I chose it about 2 years ago, and I'm so far down it already that I feel pressure to stick with it.
About this boy: I don't really know him, but... I want to. Does that mean it's going to happen? No. Does that mean I'll do anything about it? No. Why not? Because I'm pretty sure my reasons are pretty superficial, and I'm pretty sure I just talked myself out of it while I was running. I'm pretty sure I don't think anything of it anymore. God can change your heart so fast, you know. He's still got a lot of work to do on my heart, and I'm pretty sure He wants it for Himself.
Which is cool with me.
DV
About my major: I don't know if I'll be a good teacher. I don't know if I'll like it. I don't know if I'll be satisfied or whole, and I don't know if it'll end up shaping my life, and whether that shaping would be good or bad. I like sociology. I like farming. I love track. I may or may not want a family. I may or may not want a husband. I might get 5 years down the road and realize I can't live without a farm. I don't know which of my desires are from God. At this point I feel like teaching is most conducive to providing future opportunities to return to school, should I feel the need. But man, I hate having to choose my life's path at this point... actually, I chose it about 2 years ago, and I'm so far down it already that I feel pressure to stick with it.
About this boy: I don't really know him, but... I want to. Does that mean it's going to happen? No. Does that mean I'll do anything about it? No. Why not? Because I'm pretty sure my reasons are pretty superficial, and I'm pretty sure I just talked myself out of it while I was running. I'm pretty sure I don't think anything of it anymore. God can change your heart so fast, you know. He's still got a lot of work to do on my heart, and I'm pretty sure He wants it for Himself.
Which is cool with me.
DV
1 comment:
would you please stop writing? you're making me look bad.
just kidding. but i am a teensy bit jealous, because you always seem to have words and i never do.
poetry? please?
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