Tuesday night, agitated and hurt, I had to go running to let off steam. I ran 1.4 miles in 11-12 minutes, and when I finished, I knew that I had been selfish. When I laid down to sleep that night, I realized that I haven't been even pretending to trust God.
Last night, restless yet exhausted, another laying-down-to-sleep truth dawned on me as I was crying out to God - about what I want, and I started to tell Him why I want it, and there was another answer smack in my face. What I want is fine, probably, but why I want it has little connection to God and every connection, again, to satisfying myself.
Life is so complicated, and the simple answers are hard to find, for they are too big for me to see sometimes.
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